So that's what this is about...

Hello, dear friends. For months now I've avoided writing anything to you because I didn't know what to say. Not that there wasn't anything to say-- oh, no, far be it-- indeed, I've been overflowing with things to say for all these long months-- but rather I didn't know where to start. A part of me said I had to pick up with the travel journal where it was left off. A second part said to move on. The first part replied that those pictures were worth sharing... and besides, what else was there? The second part replied that those pictures could wait to be shared in person, and besides, there was "normal" life to talk about.

I guess that after almost 5 months, the second part of me won the argument.

Right now I am in Oregon. I have not been out of the country (or the state!) in exactly six months as of yesterday, and I do not have any real plans of leaving it again for another many months ("real plans" are not to be confused with the ones I spout every few days, when I turn to a classmate and whisper frenziedly, "Hey, let's go to Russia together. Tonight!"). So I have spent six months coming to terms with the fact that my feet are firmly stuck in Oregon soil right now and for the near future, and that I have to eventually accept my place here.

Why am I sharing all this? Because during the last six months, while a large piece of my heart and mind has been flitting back and forth from Salem to Edinburgh to Amberg to Jelenia Gora to Disneyland to Swindon to Prague to Nurnberg to Paris to Newberg to the Unnamed Cities of the Harvest Moon (wait, what?), the other piece of my heart and mind has been occupied in slightly other ways: namely, in observing real life. That is, the life that I'm living-- right now-- right here-- whether it's where I want to be or not-- whether the people involved are the ones I'm missing or not-- whether I know who for goodness' sake I am or not. Real life.

It's not as if it ever really left me. It's just that every stage of life presents a different vantage point from which to ponder it. And this stage's vantage point seems to include a fully equipped theater in which I get to watch myself watching real life.

What am I saying? (Blessed if I know.) Basically just that I feel it's time to start sharing the thoughts I've had so much lately about real relationship, real pain, real joy, real humanity-- real life. I don't know what form that will take. Maybe it will be little essay-like entries about the latest wisdom I've been granted (although I don't think I'll ever be as good at those as my friend M------ who shares at http://kliemn.blogspot.com/). Maybe it will be a copy of my latest homework assignment, since the books I'm reading mostly deal with the nature of reality and the purpose of life and the goodness of God and the problem of pain and evil and the plague of original sin and the depth of love and the meaning of existence and all those topics that make me want to jump up and down and shout for joy and weep for heart-ache all at the same time. There's real pain and real joy out there for us to encounter, friends, and it's ready for us to tackle if we'll only take the time.

After all, maybe that's why I go to college-- so I'm forced to take the time to tackle real life.

Of course, college being what it is, I'm usually too busy living real life, or writing about real life for a grade, to sit down and think it out thoroughly enough to write about it here; so, no promises on when / how often you'll hear from me. I just figured it was about time I ignored the clock and sat down long enough to tell you my plan as it is now, and to let you know what I've been thinking about. Feel free to start thinking about this subject with me; most of you have experienced a lot more real life than I have.

All for now. More to come later.